Wednesday, 27 April 2011

Part 2. It Was Just Almost Too Easy Age 15- 18

Bored, Alone, Hungry, Bored, Alone, Hungry. It was that same record again! I was all out of ideas and couldn’t even stand the thought of living anymore.

The room damn it was always the same.  It was just… so incomplete, so quiet, and so empty. I just didn’t know what to do; it was the summer, this was a white washed scrapbook of uncompleted projects. I was not a child anymore. I just turned 18 a week ago and I decided to scavenge around for some money. I no longer want toys but cigarettes and alcohol; I need to drown those sorrows before they rise up against me.
I brought the items and slowly crept up into my room, the room lock clicked! I drank those two full bottles of wine; the glass made that delightful clanking noise. I played another CD in my CD player the track Almost Too Easy and it was on the loop. I took out the cigarette from the packet, I could hear the small snap of wood from the lighter fuel as it slowly lit up the cigarette. I breathed in the black smoke; some of it was rising up above my head. I had never really smoked before so I could feel the... drowning feeling again; but at the same time I didn’t really care! I could feel myself slowly not caring about anyone else too anymore. Why should I?  I was convinced I would die, die alone in this room.

I was half conscious, half dead but the outside world aroused my senses. It would be too easy just to die wouldn’t it though?.  It would be too easy to be forgotten in Time.To be booed on that stage. Words don’t feel good anymore, they are bitter.  I wanted to mould them, use them on everyone. No one would be safe. My audience will be captivated and blown away tonight!

I could hear the annoying crazy frog ringtone; someone had just text me. I found my mobile phone. 
“Clover, meet us at the toy shop near Market Street!”
I could feel that... excitement but confusion too. I sped through the streets on my motorcycle, my friends were already inside, they were laughing and taunting the owner. We were back to being those bad children again.
      “What are you ruffians doing in my shop, get out! Shoo!”
My friend took out his gun; this was definitely not one of the toys and he was pointing it at the shop owners head.
“I wouldn’t say that if I were you dear sir, now give me that dolly, my sister wants it!”

I was watching them outside the shop with a grin on my face. I enjoyed watching their games through that glass screen. What a show? I also saw a beautiful pink and blue doll through the mirrored glass. I wanted her! But I could also see my own distorted face in the mirror and I hated it even more. I wanted to smash it to pieces! I took out a metal baton and thumped it at the window...I could hear the delightful clash of broken up glass. All eyes were on me, I could hear the laughter, tears and applause!

I really wanted though to hear silence again. I wanted the voices to just go away.  Me and my friends had set up the fire and lights around the shop this shall be the huge explosion that will mark the end. We were about to cut the fuse, when we could hear sirens from the local police car pull up... louder and closer towards the shop.  The noises were on repeat, they were ... a distress signal. The policeman entered the shop. I could feel myself feeling… numb and empty again. This will be finished. I grabbed my mate’s gun; this was followed by a final gunshot and then an ominous mute of silence. The shop owner was dead, I could see nothing but blood, I could only feel... a pair of hands nudge and chain up my arms up to the wall. I shall never be free; but there was just no way to stop the show. 

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